If I Had a Daughter

If I Had a Daughter

I always say I’ll never have children – I’m not the mother type – but sometimes all I can think of are the things I’d do differently. The things I would teach a little girl if I had one, the values I hope she would have, the things and people I’d teach her to believe in – the foremost being herself.

I would teach her about the miracle that she is, about al the little pieces and moments that had to come together just right in order to create her, and how perfect she is. That if even one step her father or I had taken had been left instead of right her eyes would not shine the way that they do, her hair would not curl at the ends when she wakes up in the morning. that every moment of my life was only ever leading up to her.

I would teach her that life is busy, but every moment is so important. That walking fast does not only get you to the destination quicker, it takes you out of the moment and away from the sunshine and the things that you are supposed to be seeing as you go. That nothing is a waste of time, not even lying in bed all day with a bowl of ice-cream and a good book if you are enjoying yourself. I would teach her to always try to enjoy herself, to listen to the music all around her and in her head, to pick flowers even when everyone else tells her they are weeds because their being weeds does not make them any less beautiful.

I would teach her to say “I love you” in a hundred different languages. Not just to the man or woman that she will walk down the aisle towards one day, but to her father and I, to her best friend, to a moment, to her kitten. Most importantly, to herself each night even when she things there’s nothing to love, because there is always something to love in yourself

I would teach her not to need anyone but herself, not even me or her father. I would teach her that nobody and nothing other than herself can define her. That the miracle of her life is all the meaning she needs, and the sound of her heart beating will always remind her of that universal truth. But I would also teach her that not needing someone is not an excuse to not want someone, and that she should never deprive herself of desire or love or hope. That the touch of another human being, of a mother’s hug or a best friend’s hand in hers, these are the things that make like worth living each day.

I would teach her all of the things that I am still trying to learn myself.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07810635487723071132 Diary of a Dreamer

    This is such a sweet post. Really hit home about what I want to teach my son/daughter from the time they show their face in September. Don’t say never! You’ll probably end up with a few kids – sometimes the ‘not mothering’ types are the best moms anyways.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18099051232479019632 Anita AllThingsAnita

    beautiful post! I’m one to say that I doubt I’ll have children in the future too, but as the previous poster said – you never know, you might be a good mother :)

    So happy to be featuring you on my sidebar this month!

    Anita @ AllThingsAnita

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09683044614329189495 Andrew-L’autre

    I agree that your advice is worth teaching to any child. I love what you said in the third paragraph.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11069853342158261301 The Girl who Loved to Write

    This is so beautiful!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00715563067298988683 Kelly Louise

    that first little paragraph is everything. my thoughts exactly. one of my first posts ever, I talked about why I’ll probably never be a mom – and surprisingly it’s a really popular decision! a lot of bloggers have posted about it. but I’ve never seen someone post about it like this. I love this.